I’ve ummed and arred for ages about writing this post. Firstly because I don’t want to come off as a really sad lonely person and also because I realise there are bigger things in life to worry about!
But, I’m going to take a punt that there are SO many other people out there exactly like me and in this same predicament who want bridesmaids but just don’t have that group or those individuals that you would typically pick, so I’m publishing this anyway!
So for a bit of background, I’m incredibly lucky that I do have lots of friends. Mainly two large groups, one from school and one who I met through my very first job as a waitress when I was 16. I also have a really lovely bunch of girls I’ve met since being a wedding photographer, who I meet with regularly too.
However, I have very few, one-on-one friends. The kind you’d call in a meltdown or just call in on – just because. AND I have two brothers… no sisters! So you can probably see my dilemma.
From the moment I got engaged, the tricky subject of picking my bridesmaids was in the back of my mind, I honestly had no idea what I was going to do. All I knew was that I didn’t want a large group of bridesmaids, in my mind I only wanted two. So that meant I’d definitely have to pick, and how on earth do you do that without offending anyone?
In the end it came down to visualising the day, imagining the morning of my wedding and filling that role with someone who I knew would be excited about the day, calm in the preparation and supportive as well. I’ve been a part of many wedding mornings through being a wedding photographer, and in many cases witnessed very stressful sessions with lots of girls getting ready at once, some complaining that their hair didn’t look right, or they didn’t like their make-up. Some delaying proceedings by being late, not being ready on time. The list is endless, and I definitely wanted to avoid it all!
So, who did I pick?
Luckily, I already knew who one of them would be. My eldest brother is married, and so picking my sister-in-law Hayley was an obvious choice. Plus I always knew that I definitely would like her to be a bridesmaid for me one day (as I had for her). So phew… one spot was filled, but that still left the other. That left me thinking back to my two large groups of friends…
I kept coming back to one friend in particular who I felt got this whole wedding thing. And that was my friend Kerry (who is also an incredible designer). When I think back now we’ve actually been through a lot together. We both started our businesses at the same time by attending a Princes Trust Enterprise Scheme, and we both had our interview with the panel who would decide if we were worth investing in on the same day too! Since then we’ve regularly met for ‘business lunches/gossips’ that inevitably turn to work talk because we’re both passionate about it. Ultimately, Kerry is on the same wavelength as me! She gets what this whole starting a business thing is, understands how hard it is to work for yourself and DO everything to keep it going.
Plus she was also very excited when I let her know I was engaged 😀 She was immediately at hand to offer me advice on decor, understood the vision I have for the day and is currently working out the logistics of making it happen (genius!). More recently she is full of dress advice (the dress… a post for another time – stressful!!) So really it was a no-brainer to pick her.
So after I picked them, I then decided I wanted to ask them in a fun way. I put a couple of boxes together as little presents to the girls, nothing inside relates to a theme for the day (at this point – I still had no idea about any of that!) but it was full of little things I just loved.
Each box contained, a card with a scratch panel, glitter dipped feathers, hair ties, a mini succulent, a gold vase, two felt flowers and a little photo of us both. The boxes themselves were just from the stationery section in Wilkos.
Since then we’ve started a private facebook group to chat all things wedding without annoying anyone! I’ve found them BOTH dresses they love and that fit (first time… got to be a record?) and we’re now working on what on earth I’ll be wearing! The dress dilemma really is a real thing!
If you’d like to hear more about the politics of picking a bridesmaid on your wedding day. We had this discussion this week on the Get Wed Podcast. Both Katie and I shared how we picked ours spoke about the roles they have on the day and offered our advice for getting through yet another part of wedding politics! You can listen below, or find us on iTunes too.
How are you getting on with choosing your bridesmaids? Are you having loads, being brutal and picking a few or skipping it all together and having none? I’d love to hear!